I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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