My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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