She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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