she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
