I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
