is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize