also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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