I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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