Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
