U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
not ubering you a puppy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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