Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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