no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize