Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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