How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
