After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
