brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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