Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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