So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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