Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
