We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
