opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
