Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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