I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
