walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
