i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
