i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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