this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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