He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
