How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize