Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
