Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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