Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize