Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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