Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Randomize