I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
