I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
