wanna go halves on a baby?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
