found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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