i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
