sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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