Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
