kristin has been a bad kristin
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
