I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
