ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
