I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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