The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
