I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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