we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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