all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
