u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize