he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
