Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
