Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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