He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
