Even the bartender felt bad for me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This baby is an asshole
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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