did you get engaged???
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
