i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize