I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
