hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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