There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
