i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
