I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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